Finale Update! 

Derrick won, +100 points for him. 

Here's the rest: 

Cody wins the first HoH +25

Derrick wins the second +25

Cody wins the final HoH +25.

Victoria was FINALLY evicted -25.

Cody takes home second place because his love costs $500,000. +50 

Victoria cried, Frankie and Caleb fought. +5 each. The end. 

Smell ya later, smell ya later forever. 

September 22 - Update (had to update it here, because I am out of room in the log options for episodes!)

First things first - Retroactive points for last week's Jury Members comp - Hayden won so points to him (and Victoria, I guess...) +10. 

Also, Hayden and Nicole kissed so +5 each there too. 

Bit of weird week with the schedule shifting and recap, but we're down to the end - 

Scores for September 16th - 

Cody wins the PoV +10

Frankie is evicted - apparently he didn't see it coming. -25

Derrick wins the HoH +25. 

Wednesday September 17th - 

Derrick nominates Caleb and Victoria, -10 

Cody wins the PoV +10. 

Caleb is evicted. Another blindside, vicious! -25.

Frankie cried in the recap +5, and Frankie and Caleb fought +5.

Friday September 19th 

recap show - really hard for me to score this one, because most of what we saw has already been seen and scored for - the only new thing I caught was Frankie crying over the dog +5.

If you saw anything that should be scored that hasn't already been - please let me know in the comments or email. I'm all mixed up with the changes in the schedule and the flow of the last few shows, so please don't hesitate if I am missing something. 

Bonuses

Asshat this week goes to Frankie, because of his dignified acceptance of the veto results, and because he's going to singlehandedly determine who is going to win this game simply by his mere presence in Jury. +10.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost at the end of it all BB Fans! 

This week's updates cover the shows from September 9, 10th and 14th. 

Tuesday September 9th - PoV

Frankie wins the POV and doesn't use it. Wields much power, lets you know. +10. 

Wednesday September 10th - Live Eviction/Rewind

No one was eliminated because of the rewind, 

Victoria cried, once to after the veto meeting and then again when she was talking to Frankie, +5 for each incidence with Victoria. Frankie cried because Victoria made him feel bad, or something, so Frankie gets more tear points. +5. 

HoH is a cliff hanger and nothing else happened. 

Sunday, Septmeber 14th - HoH results and Nominations

Caleb wins HoH +25. 

Caleb nominates Frankie and Victoria, -10 each. 

Bonuses: 

I am giving Asshat to Victoria this week. Competition Princess. Indeed. +10. 

Let me know if you think I should retroactively score for the Jury member comp - Hayden won, which means he could be scored for +10... what do you all think? If you're reading...Bueller? Bueller? 

What's going on guys? Are you ready for another update about what is the most predicable and un-action packed season of BB ever? Cause I am, even though I am so over this shit that it's not even fun anymore. Literally, I have been putting off watching the episodes to the last minute and then sitting there stewing in my own disappointment as I tally up the points. Real talk, yo. 

Don't worry though, I won't flake and stop updating even though I am SO DONE WITH THESE FOOLS. Onwards. 

September 3rd - POV 

Christine wins the PoV +10, she used it to save herself, fat lot of good that did for her, +5.

Although I do have to say that was a pretty cool PoV competition. 

Victoria, ever the goat is named the replacement nominee, because Derrick is the effing puppetmaster and Nicole screwed herself by "complimenting" his game and comparing him to Dan Gheesling. -10 for Victoria. I think it's going to be the end of the world and the only things left standing are going to be cockroaches, my indestructible mutt of a dog and Victoria, straightening her hair. Oooohhh Myyyy Godddd-ah. 

Nicole cried to Derrick because she was nominated and her situation was crappy and she doesn't like these people. +5

Thursday September 4 - Double Eviction night

Nicole is evicted. Again. -25. 

Derrick wins HoH +25.

Derrick nominates Christine and Victoria, -10 to each lady. 

Frankie wins the PoV and does not use it. +10

Christine is evicted. -25. And LOL no hugs from Christine, just cold as ice walks out the door to a crowd just booing the crap out of her. That had to sting. 

And then a reset button!! YES!!! Maybe this is what we need to shake this up a bit...probably not though...because no one makes any moves, ever, even when it's right there in front of them. God. It's cool though, Let's watch Cody rove around in his dinosaur costume some more. 

Sunday September 7th - HoH results and Nominations 

Frankie wins the HoH +25. 

The push the button!!

Jeff FINALLY proposes to Jordan. There's a dog, some guy sings a song, basically that ring could pay off my mortgage. Congratulations guys - see you next season. 

Frankie nominates Victoria and Cody. -10.

BONUSES: 

Caleb: Beastmode "let's tell Frankie everything" Cowboy. It must be really tiring doing all of Derrick's dirty work.

Christine: for only now noticing that your not in a good position with these boys and it's too late because there is nothing you can do and oh, by the by, pretty much everyone hates you because they love your husband and you petted Cody's hair way too much. 

Frankie: For checking to see if his chip was actually in the PoV draw box. For mocking everyone after the PoV "you're colour blind!!" and then in the live eviction PoV running back to check where everyone else was in the puzzle after winning it. So rude. 

Nicole: Blowing up her own game by revealing how on to Derrick she was... to Derrick. Girl, if you know what's he's doing, don't tell him you know. God, so dumb. 

Victoria: Feeling pretty pleased about herself for being the last girl standing, Victoria, you silly goat...wake up and realize who you are to these guys...you're the pawn, win something, do something, anything! Oh you're straightening your hair again... well, that's something I guess. 

It goes to Nicole this week. She blew it, hard. 

Happy Labour Day Fantasizr!

Sorry for the late update, also sorry if this log makes no sense, it's holiday Monday and I had a couple beers at the last BBQ of the season. Holla!

This update includes the airings from August 27, 28, and 31st. Also, holy crap it's September already!

Wednesday August 27 - PoV 

Cody wins the PoV, he promptly attaches it directly to his lack of any sort of genitals and decides to keep his already weak nominations the same. Way to make those big moves Cody. +10 for winning and NO POINTS FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY INTERESTING THIS SEASON AT ALL. I mean, why make big moves when you can just say "you know..." and leave it at that. 

Derrick cried after his conversation with Donny because of the futility of it all. +5 to Derrick. 

Thursday August 28th - Live Eviction 

Why are Julie's outfits always so weird? 

Donny is evicted. -25. Sucks. 

HoH is a cliff hanger and pretty much everyone but Caleb cried. +5 to Cody, Nicole, Frankie, Donny, Derrick, Victoria and Christine. 

Donny cried again during his exit interview. +5 more sweet grounds keeper, love to you and your one armed brother. 

Sunday August 31st - HoH results and Nominations 

Caleb wins the HoH +25. 

Caleb promptly goes into BeastMode and makes up some stuff about some stuff, and then decides that Nicole and Christine are the nominations. -10 to each of the bespectacled ladies. 

Nicole cried after Caleb made her a have-not for the second time in a row and then she cried again in the diary room, c'mon Nicole, you can either cry like a bitch or you can get out there and smack a bitch, so smack a bitch and take it home you Midwestern accented goddess you. +5 for each crying session.

BONUSES:  

Frankie once again made headlines for being an ass, this time it was about rape! Rape jokes, always appropriate, never uncomfortable and offensive. +10 for being a pure treat of a human being, Frankie Grande. Never change. 

Asshats: 

Caleb : able to read people really well, diagnoses Donny with Autism, compares him to "Rainman" because that one movie you saw with Tom Cruise that one time is obviously the way to determine whether someone has a disorder of neural development. Beastmode genius. 

Christine: 640 pinwheels. Yep. 

Frankie: Let's put on a play and no apple pie for you, you dingus! Also, pretty sure that you're making no friends looking right at the camera and deriding America's sweetheart Donny. It was your idea for the "play" which sucked, by the way, and the whole not being up front about the slop and how many times you've actually been on it (1x - we have it on tape!) just makes you look like a shady, selfish little brat...or more of a shady, selfish little brat. 

I'm giving it to Frankie. The most begrudging 10 points ever right here. 

What's happening guys? Today's update contains the scores for the airings on August 20th, 21st and 24th. Interesting week this week, we didn't see a lot of extra points rolling in and despite the tension caused by Frankie's move to backdoor Zach, there wasn't a whole lot of flapping in the house over it. Onwards!

August 20th, PoV and Zingbot!

Frankie wins the PoV +10

Frankie used the PoV to remove Caleb from the block, +5 to Caleb for being saved. 

Zach is named the replacement nominee. -10. 

Not a lot of shenanigan points in this airing, except true to form, Frankie cried over something. It's such a regular occurrence these days that we didn't even get much context around it - just here's Frankie, crying. +5. 

Thursday August 21st - Live Eviction and Jury Comeback Comp

Zach is evicted from the house -25. He handled it with a serious amount of class though, and even him throwing Froot Loops around was welcomed and laughed about, I have a feeling though, this is not the last we will of Zach in the Big Brother game - I smell an All-Star and it smells like cereal. 

Nicole won the comeback comp, which means she is back in the game and can be recruited again for anyone setting up new teams. +10

Nicole and Hayden had a sweet moment in the Jury House, smooches +5 each, even though Hayden is struck out, I am still going to give him his points because that's the rules y'all. 

And best of the best, Victoria and Zach fought and the real victim was the pink hat. +5 each. 

Sunday August 24th - HoH and Nominations. 

Cody wins the HoH +25. 

Cody makes some "big moves" and nominates Donny and Nicole, because that's what we really need to be doing 9 weeks in, taking out the people that can be used as goats in the coming weeks when things are actually going to get tough. TAKE OFF THE GLOVES! ALL CAPS, GOD! 

Jocasta gave a Nicole a big old kiss right on the mouth. Accidental or not, lip on lip is points, +5 each. 

BONUSES 

Caleb : "I don't need to be smart." Caleb dazzled us all with his karate moves this week, kicking around the house like a 7 year old just back from his first karate lesson. Charming. 

Christine: really terrific showing from Christine this week. Throwing the BoB so obviously and getting called out oh so subtly by Julie Chen during the eviction, Christine needs to pull it together and see that she is the low man in the alliance pecking order and start making some deals. NOT SAFE, DANGER!!! DANGER!!! 

Nicole: punch in the number 35 again Nicole!!! PAY ATTENTION! Genius child. God. 

Zach: For having such shady ass gameplay that results in him being the immediate suspect of being a "saboteur", for playing so erratically there was no chance to save himself and he ends being the target of his own alliance, that he started. At least he recognized that it was all him, but  my god, what a screw up. Poor Zach, such an asshat. 

It goes to Zach, knick knack, paddy whack, give the poor dog his bone. +10 Zach. 

See you next week. 

This week's update covers the airings from August 13th, 14th and 17th. 

Wednesday August 13th - PoV 

Zach wins the PoV +10 and uses it on himself so +5. 

Christine believed the information that her alliance fed to her and nominated Nicole as the replacement. -10. 

We saw a lot of points come in with the shaningans this week - there's a lot so if I miss something, leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail. 

Frankie and Zach fought +5 each. 

Zach cried in his DR interview +5.

Victoria was sown crying three seperate times during Derrick's recap +15 for those three incidents, and then she cried again when Zach shattered her illusions that people don't lie during a game of Big Brother, so another 5, another 5 for crying while she rehashed it in the DR and then she cried some more +5. Victoria earned 30 points for crying alone in under 10 minutes. She may win the whole league simply based on her ability to cry. 

Victoria and Zach fought, so another +5 there each. 

Nicole cried during her DR claiming to not like Christine "at all" +5. 

Nicole and Hayden were shown kissing again, but this was film of a previous makeout session that already received points, for those of you following closely at home. 

Thursday August 14th - live eviction and HoH comp

Nicole was evicted, -25 :(

HoH was won by Frankie and Derrick +25 each. 

Rachel Reilly made an appearance, -100,000,000 Ugh, not a fan. 

We saw some more tears - 

Nicole cried during her chat with Christine +5. 

Donny was emotional when he was talking with Zach +5.

And Nicole cried again while talking to Victoria. +5.

Sunday August 17th - Nominations and BoB 

Derrick nominates Donny and Christine, -10 each

Frankie nominates Caleb and Cody, -10 each

Donny and Christine win the BoB solely through Donny's efforts and return their losses with +10 for win, dethroning Derrick and proving that these schemes that they seem to keep coming up with are probably pretty crappy and need to be re-thought. 

Not suprisingly Frankie cried reading his letter from ARIANA GRANDE!!! +5.

BONUSES!!! 

Asshat of the week: 

Frankie: the social media mogul himself, thinks using his sister's rising star is going to save him in the game, promising to donate his winnings to a vague project somewhere in the giganic continent of Africa (to be fair, he does have a charity, they have earned $85!).

Victoria: #escapegoat

Zach: really excellent strategy there, broski. 

Cody: look, punching yourself in the face while sleeping is something he shouldn't be held accountable for, but when it comes to the whole weird cuddling, touchy-feely thing he has going on with Christine, it takes two to tango, or snuggle. 

Christine: for the extra-marital cuddle fest she has going on with Cody. I get it, sort of, he's attractive. You know it's not actually going to go anywhere above and beyond what you're doing, you've got no real romantic feelings for the guy, he's just nice and he cuddles back and it's best to keep him in a bit of a holding pattern, a prison of affection if you will, but it's uncomfortable and makes people question your commitment to your marriage, maybe you should dial back the head petting. 

THE ENTIRE BOMB SQUAD: for thinking that the Skittle draw and the plan to throw the BoB was actually going to work. COME ON GUYS!! It's week 8!!! How well has this "throw the BoB" strategy been working out for you so far??? I just can't with these people. Make some choices, at least Christine knew that when she put up Nicole she was clearly choosing a side and drawing a line. MAKE SOME TOUGH CHOICES HERE PEOPLE, it's time!!!

Anyway, it goes to Frankie again this week. Because he has half a million followers that I am sure will comfort him and tell him that he isn't a complete and utter jack-ass when he leaves the house! ARIANA GRANDE!

Holy Crap this week was AMAZING!!! We saw some BIG moves and a lot of people got their strategies blown up publicly and this is why I love double eviction night!!!

Wednesday August 6th: POV night

Christine won the PoV +10. And the PoV was not used. 

Zach lost his cool and was emotional during his efforts to win the PoV, actually laying himself down and crying when he knew he blew it. +5

During the Veto meeting, Zach made Cody laugh so hard he cried. +5 

Thursday August 7th: Live Eviction (double)

Jocasta was voted out. -25

First HoH win went to Caleb. +25

Caleb nominated Hayden and Donny -10 each. 

Donny wins PoV +10 and uses it save himself. +5

Nicole is named replacement nominee -10. 

Hayden is voted out. -25. 

Nicole was emotional during the eviction and teared up because yeah, that sucked for her and Hayden. +5.

AND NOW THE REALLY GOOD STUFF!!!!!!

Sunday August 10th - Noms and BoB (and the sweet, sweet fallout of the double eviction)

HoH wins go to Nicole and Christine. +25 

Christine nominated Donny and Zach. -10 each.

Nicole nominated Caleb and Frankie. -10 each. 

Frankie won the BoB solo when Caleb refused to participate removing them from the block. +10 to remove the nomination penalty from their scores. 

Hayden and Nicole were shown kissing in the recap +5 each for the face sucking. 

Nicole cried in the bathroom when talking to Donny. +5

Nicole got in a fight with pretty much everyone, but what was shown was her interactions with Christine, Zach and Frankie. +5 for fighting. 

Nicole got emotional again when Zach was being antagonistic towards her +5

Caleb and Frankie got into a call-out right before the BoB. +5

Frankie got really emotional when he won the BoB because damn, that was a victorious moment and while I can't say that I am Frankie's biggest fan right now, that was magnificent. +5

Frankie and Zach fought, +5, watching them fight makes me sad, but it's been a long time coming and now that Zach nows exactly what Frankie was doing, I expect we should see a lot more points coming with interactions between these two in the weeks to come. 

BONUSES: 

Not a lot of asshattery this week, everyone is playing a pretty reasonable game and not treating each other too poorly outside of game moves right now. Some contenders though: 

Caleb, as always BeastMode Cowboy sees himself up here for just generally being a dumb-ass, wanting "millions of prescriptions" to Amber's comicbook, thinking that a shaved head is the thing that is going to make him look dumb, and not being able to at least pretend that he was in it to win during the Battle of the Block. Although the call out and fallout from that was entertaining as hell. 

Christine, starting a rumour about Victoria with Nicole - probably not the best strategy and ultimately was what started the breakdown of her alliance with Nicole. 

Frankie, for getting his game blown up so terribly and making himself the #1 target until the moment he is eliminated. Frankie, I salute you and I am not sure that Ariana is going to be able to help you, because last I checked, she's not actually playing this game, you are. 

Victoria, and her awesome performance in the PoV competition. Victoria, you beautiful idiot. 

Zach, can't let a week go by without mentioning ol' Rancey Pants. For his PoV freakout, tormenting Nicole and generally being a walking douche bag. Also I really think his mid-comp change in strategy during the BoB is what cost him and Donny the win, should have stayed the course, Zach Attack. 

This week, it goes to Frankie. Frankie, you spectacular Asshat. +10. 

Thanks for your patience with the scores going up today. We took the kids to an aviary and zoo, we got yelled at by a ring tailed lemur when we did not produce fruit a manner to his liking. He wanted an orange, and the snow monkeys got that and all we had left was strawberries and that apparently was a problem. Also we think the python might have been deceased, he was looking a little…flaccid. Memories!!!

On to the scores!

Wednesday July 30th "veto night" : 

Hayden won the PoV +10 to Hayden and he used it on Victoria, so +5 to her as well. 

Amber was named the replacement nominee. -10 to Amber. 

Victoria cried after losing the BoB +5.

Derrick cried when he received news that his grandfather had also passed away +5.

AND! I am finally going to toss Zach and Frankie +5 for whatever it is that they are up to "showmance", "bromance" I don't know what it is - but it's more than I do with the man I have been married to for the past 8 years, so points. 

Thursday July 31st "live eviction night" :

Amber is evicted. Poor girl. Caleb really did end up screwing her in the end. -25

Jocasta cried after the veto meeting.

Amber cried when Caleb told her about the plan to backdoor her. 

Caleb cried when he felt remorseful for putting Amber in such a crappy position. 

Amber cried some more when Zach poked her about the whole issue with Caleb. 

Jocasta got emotional when she survived the block again. 

Amber cried during her exit interview when she heard Donny's message. 

+5 for all of this.

HoH results were a cliff hanger. 

Sunday August 3rd "noms and BoB": 

Donny and Nicole won HoH. +25

Donny nominated Caleb and Victoria, -10 each

Nicole nominated Jocasta and Zach -10 each to them as well. 

Caleb and Victoria won BoB +10.

In the opening cuts we saw some more tears - Jocasta, Amber and Caleb. 

Jocasta cried two more times. 

Donny got emotional twice during the HoH room photo and letters. 

Nicole cried during her letter from home as well. 

Frankie cried hearing the letters from home. 

BONUSES: 

Frankie gets another notorious bonus being picked up by TMZ again for telling Jocasta to "go kill yourself" although not really and it's all a weird thing and I feel like these points should really go to Jocasta's sister. +10

Asshats: 

Victoria: blaming Jocasta for losing the BoB when it was clearly her issue. Like, let's rewind and watch that again shall we?

But ultimately it's a tight race between Zach and Caleb this week…and I am giving it to Caleb, the king of the house in his stolen bunny slippers. What an asshat. +10. 

Scores updated today cover the shows that aired on July 23rd, 24th and Sunday the 27th. 

***Amendment to the update below (I always seem to forget to log something... fortunately this scorekeeping gig only pays me in Internet popularity points, otherwise I would be fired am I right??? Points on the INTERNET for everyone!!!) I awarded 15 points to Cody for his tears last week, but didn't meticulously document each incident - so here they are: Cody cried on Wednesday because it's really hard being HoH, you guys. Then he continued to cry and throw a tantrum over his inability to keep his word to Donny. Then when Frankie got his sad news, he cried again in empathy with his friend. Cody gets 15 points for crying.***

Wednesday July 23rd :

Wednesday Saw Victoria win the PoV and she used it on herself, earning her +10 for winning and +5 for using it. 

Poor old Donny was made the replacement nominee. Apparently Cody lost his courage somewhere in the Big Brother House. Last I saw it was in the vicinity of Caleb's butt. Maybe he should check there. -10 to everyone's favourite groundskeeper, Donny. 

Brittany cried. I would have cried too. +5 for the tears. 

Thursday July 24th : 

Brittany was evicted in yet another unanimous vote, -25. 

Frankie and Zach won HoH. +25 to each of them. Team Zankie. 

Lots of tears in this airing, Frankie's Grandfather passed away, Frankie was filmed crying on four separate occasions, +20. Brittany cried during the live eviction and in her interview with Julie, +10. Amber cried with Frankie, +5, Derrick teared up at Frankie's sad news as well, +5, Zach cried with Frankie, and then again after the HoH Win there was a welling of emotion, +10 for Zach.

Hayden and Nicole moved their showmance forward +5 to them both for making out in the dark. 

Sunday July 27th: 

Frankie and Zach made their nominations : Frankie nominated Victoria and Jocasta, and Zach nominated Christine and Nicole. -10 to each nominee. 

Christine and Nicole saved themselves by winning the battle of the block, +10 to wipe out the nomination penalty there. 

We saw tears from Victoria, +5 and from Nicole, because Zach called her a Froot-loop Dingus. Frankie cried three more times because it's an tough time for him right and The Big Brother House is like a cage of emotion, 15 more points for Frankie. 

BONUSES:

Frankie, being related to Ariana Grande, receives +10 for becoming notorious outside of the game with the passing of his Grandfather, the story was picked up by TMZ and some speculations were tossed back and forth whether they were going to tell him at all. 

Asshat of the Week: 

Amber: WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE HIM??? PICKLEGATE!!! 

Caleb: "Stealthmode Cowboy"…and thinking that eating a pickle is romantic and, OMG such a creep.

Victoria: What the hell kind of performance was that in the BoB? LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER!!! STOP MAKING ME TYPE IN ALL CAPS!!! 

But this week it goes to our man, Zach - the power trip, the speeches, the backtalk to production, making girls cry by using cereal insults, congratulations Zach, +10. 

Happy Monday!

Score updates today cover the airings on July 16, 17 and 20. 

*I missed scoring one of Frankie's crying sessions and had originally only scored him +5, the points have been adjusted to show the appropriate +10. I regret the error. 

I also had updated Jocasta's Asshat bonus after the original score sheet update but BEFORE the email was sent out, so for those of you that checked before the email, if anyone did - Jocasta's score now reflects her bonus as well. 

Wednesday July 16th

After seeing what Team America's tasks are, I am going to to be awarding points under the "Special Power" option to Frankie, Donny and Derrick, +10 to each.

Wednesday saw Donny win the Power of Veto, earning him +10 and by using it on Jocasta, she earned +5. 

Devin was named the replacement nominee, -10. 

Wednesday saw a lot of tears as well. Jocasta, too sick to play, but not sick enough to cry, cried 3 separate times on Wednesday's airing, earning her +15, Frankie cried, Devin cried twice. 

Thursday July 17th - live eviction night

Devin was evicted, -25 to Devin, sorry guys, the point earning beast is out. 

Jocasta cried two more times. +10. 

HoH comp was a cliff hanger, so we're going to score those wins in Sunday's points. 

Sunday July 20th

HoH wins to Cody and Frankie. +25 to them both. 

Nominations were Brittany and Victoria, Amber and Jocasta. -10 for each lady. 

Amber and Jocasta saved themselves, Amber did most of the work. +10 to restore their scores. 

Sunday saw some more tears:

Shocking no one, Brittany cried again, and then twice more, +15 for each incidence. Frankie cried, Victoria cried twice and Jocasta cried again - like a rapping duck or something. +5 points for splattering of emotion there. 

Bonuses:

Only a few contenders for Asshat of the week:

Brittany: "I can't deal with the fakeness and lies and bullshit." Uh…Brittany…you're playing Big Brother, you kinda have to deal and start doing a little yourself, otherwise, there's a door and an interview with Julie Chen waiting for you.

Caleb : Once again, our BeastMode Metrosexual Cowboy's feelings for Amber are weird and uncomfortable and waffling. Cody and Amber closed the door! So he's over her now, except if she maybe looks at him again and then their going to go on a date and get married, right? Right. 

Derrick: PoV Robot Dancer. How did that work out for you?  You spacial thinker, you. 

Jocasta: First, if someone wins you PoV and uses it save your sick ass, you thank them, not Jesus. Also, I don't care if you're sick, you are on the block, you show up for PoV…at least just try. What an Asshat. Also, your weird crying at the end of BoB…what was that even? 

Victoria: The timing on this one. Victoria…I just…what are you doing with your life? Victoria has all the self-awareness of an aquarium pebble. 

This week it goes to Jocasta. I think she's actually a nice lady, but good lord, I can't even. 

Score update day! Thanks for being so patient with the score delay while I was on holiday, Michigan was lovely, the mitten blows a loud horn of plenty, I drank a lot of Franzia, ate some strawberries, saw a lake. Anyway, we're back to our regular posting schedule and the next three shows will be scored on Monday as usual. 

Week three shaped up to be pretty entertaining. Lots of points coming in. 

Wednesday July 9th 

Devin won the PoV, earning him +10, and used it on Brittany based on the virtue of her fertile loins and that parents should be the ones that win this game. Brittany earned herself +5 for getting herself pulled off the block with that spectacular display of logic.

Wednesday also shoved some hot and fast drama in our faces, Brittany cried, again, +5 there. Caleb and Devin fought, earning them 5 more each and ushering a bromance out the door. Weren't these boys offering to sing and cuddle each other just a few days ago? Big Brother, you never disappoint. 

Zach became the replacement nominee, -10 to Zach, sad faces. 

Thursday July  10th - live elimination night

Lots of points in shenanigans on Thursday, fights and tears and fights and acid washed shorts. 

Devin earned himself +5 for his fights on Thursday, and Paola earned herself 10 for fighting as well, twice, Zach earned 10 too, and then Paola cried earning her another 5. 

Ultimately though, Paola was sent packing, -25. I wish I could take more off because those shorts are a crime against humanity. 

HoH goes to Nicole and Derrick, +25 for each of them. 

Sunday July 13th

Nominations gave -10 to Jocasta (thanks for showing up) Caleb, Donny and Amber. 

Amber and Donny saved themselves, winning them +10 and wiping out the penalty. 

Tear scores go to Cody, Donny, Nicole and Zach +5 there for the eye rain. 

I'm also going to give Hayden and Nicole another 5 each for their blossoming showmance. I wasn't originally going to until Hayden asked if they could make out and Nicole declared it the worst date ever. I'm awarding points because it's something that has been acknowledged and positively received by both parties. We're still pending on scoring Frankie and Zach - because I need to see some mutually acknowledged romantic feelings, and Caleb and Amber will not be considered a showmance, because obsessive stalker tendencies don't count, regardless of how much cookie dough ice cream is involved. 

Bonuses!

Asshat of the Week was slim pickings in week three, everyone got a fairly decent edit, but here are your contenders: 

Amber : Amber continues to employ the "deer caught in the headlights" method of gameplay. Super annoying. Blinking at someone and then heading into the diary room to congratulate yourself on awesome gameplay is not really a solid strategy. 

Caleb: Volunteering for the block. Always works out well. Caleb seems to enjoy giving himself a lot of labels, "cowboy" "knight in shining armour" how come "deluded awkward stalker" doesn't make it on there? Caleb needs a quarter so he can buy a clue. 

Devin: Has a daughter. Also, the bomb squad was aptly named, since this joker just blew it up in their faces. Can't decide if this was a genius move or a "genius" move. I put genius in quotation marks there to heavily imply sarcasm. Total loose canon, loves the drama, chews it up, and will wake you up to share it with you.

Donny: "Did you tell me not to tell anybody?"  

Frankie: Still related to Ariana Grande. 

Paola: How are those shorts even a thing? Like, how do I live in a universe where those exist? Acid washed, high wasted shorts, seriously? And here's the thing, I don't usually snark on people's appearances, because that's rude…but those shorts were a choice. She got up and said, "what I am going to wear today?" and settled on acid washed diaper-cut jean shorts. I wish I had a time-machine, so I could hop in it and go back to the 80's when acid wash first made an appearance and personally kidnap the inventor so we could all avoid the tragedy of Paola's shorts. 

Zach:  Zach is mean, but possibly the best kind of mean, and the call out after he was made the replacement nom? Spectacular, such magnificent asshattery!

I'm giving it to Devin, this week though. Total fallout from his reign as HoH, his dramatics, and his integrity, and his mind-boggling ability to flip from one personality to another. Can't keep up, much award points, what a ding-dong. 

See you on Monday!

It's Monday and that means score updates! Are you excited? I'm excited! Sorry these ones are going up a little later in the day - we had a power outage last night due to a massive, all night thunderstorm. It was fun, my cat slept on my head because he was scared. Just a heads up as well - next weeks score update will not be happening on Monday the 14th - I will be in the lovely state of Michigan on holiday until Wednesday the 16th. Scores for the shows airing on the 9th, 10th and 13th will be updated on Wednesday the 16th, and then we will fall back into our regular update schedule.

This week saw us get on track with the schedule for the show airings, after last week's two night premiere there was a good lag where nothing really happened but oh boy did we see some stuff this week! I love the beginning of Big Brother when we see the try-hards overplay their hand and those tender first alliances get blown up in over-wrought tangles of crappy game-play - Joey, I'm looking at you. Today's scores cover the airings from July 2nd, the live show on July 3rd and July 6th.

Wednesday July 2 Scores: 

Donny won PoV earning himself a +10 and another +5 for using it to save himself. Splitters!

Donny, that sweet, sweet, gentle man earned another +5 for his emotional reaction to how much he was moved by the fact that his fellow houseguests like him. 

Joey, worst campaigner ever, earns herself a -10 for being the replacement nominee. 

We saw some more tears, +5 to Paola, Joey and Devin.

Thursday July 3rd Scores:

Joey is the first person evicted from the Big Brother house, -25 points. 

Brittany cried during the eviction, so +5 for the weepy farewell. 

Amber wins the first HoH, +25, and Devin, causing mass distress and threats of hyperbolic acts of harm everywhere, wins the 2nd HoH, so +25 to him, yay?

Paola also cried, so +5 for her as well. 

Sunday, June 6th Scores: 

Nominees Paola, Brittany, Nicole and Hayden all found themselves earning a -10 for being on the block this week. Nicole and Hayden brought themselves back to 0 by winning Battle of the Block and de-throning Amber. 

We saw a lot of tears on Sunday, some double scores for multiple crying jags here. Amber cried twice, once when she read her letter from home and again when she announced her nominations. Caleb cried, Devin cried twice, something about integrity and his daughter, or a daughter named Integrity. Frankie cried, and I am giving tear points to Cody as well - there was some face wiping when he found out he fouled on the HoH comp and Zach had to tell him to pull it together. +5 for each face watering. 

Bonuses : 

Another great week for potential Asshats! 

Frankie: Don't forget, he's related to Ariana Grande. Did you know that? He's Ariana Grande's brother, lest we go more than a few days without being reminded that he shares blood with someone OMG famous. Who is he related to you ask? ARIANA GRANDE, god, why do I have to keep reminding you???

Caleb: Donny conspiracy theorist right here. "He's ex-military, I know for a fact." Donny has no hair on his legs to therefore he must be a super-secret solider and the BIGGEST THREAT IN THE HOUSE!!! Although mad props to the editors for doing an amazing job showing how ridiculous Caleb's paranoia is. Donny sitting over there with his rock hard military-earned abs power lifting some free weights.  Cut in to the diary room Frankie blinking at the camera. I laughed, out loud. Also, Caleb, just a head's up, if a woman looks at you, or touches you or accepts a bowl of ice-cream from you, she is not agreeing to marry you and bear your children. 

Devin: Devin earned himself Asshat of the Week last week, and in true from, continues to employ an absolute train-wreck of game strategy this week. Devin seems to have found a kindred spirit in crazy paranoia and seeing HUGE THREATS in places where there are no threats and JOEY!!! HOW DARE YOU PLAY THE GAME!!! in Caleb. We got a power-duo of crazy in these two. Devin has all the "charm and charisma" of a wet, moldering dishrag and being a total ass to Donny wins him no love in hearts of BBfans. Also, Devin, he has a daughter, and integrity and he also hates it when hand lotion is left in the kitchen, animals.

Joey: "I tried to make an all-girl alliance, I'm sorry." Watch out!! We have a real contender right here, no wonder she was first out, genius child. Big Brother, do you play it??? Also, Alex…what was that? I mean, I know she used the heavy weights, but it went over like a lead balloon. Just bad. Bad. 

Amber: Total failure to recognize a golden opportunity to play both sides of the house. Take the offer of an all-girl alliance, DO IT – don't sit there going "I'm confused…I'm just really confused." Amber needs to figure out fast that starring at people blankly and pretending you don't understand is not going to get you out of playing the game.  

All of the players in the Veto Competition with the exception of Donny and Zach, who managed to actually spell a word, any word. C-A-L-T-O-R-U, seriously? I just can't with people, has no one learned anything after the debacle with technotronics? No, no one has learned a thing. 

But ultimately, Asshat of the Week is determined by the community here, and Joey took it home this week. Literally. Congratulations Joey for the first and last 10 points you will ever earn in this game. 

Happy Monday folks! 

The scores and updates today are awarded for the shows that aired on June 25th, 26th and Sunday the 29th. As it stands right now, score updates will be on Mondays, after the airing of the Sunday show so any cliffhanger HoH's from the live show are accounted for with the results and noms on Sunday's airing. 

Wednesday the 25th:

25 points awarded to Frankie for winning the first HoH. 

No other points awarded for that airing, as the season, she is but a puppy. 

Thursday the 26th:

25 points going to Caleb for winning the second HoH. 

Christine earned herself 5 for welling up with emotion and getting misty when she learned that she was going to be on Big Brother. As far as scoring is concerned tears don't need to be at BB8 Amber level of water-works to count. 

Sunday the 29th:

Sunday we saw a lot of points roll in with the first nominations. -10 points to Paola, Donny, Brittany and Victoria.

Victoria cried during the nomination ceremony earning her +5. So did Brittany, her waterworks earn +5 as well. (I missed it in the scores when I first updated them and they have now been corrected, sorry!)

Tears from Caleb, at having to make nominations at all. +5 to our metrosexual cowboy as well. 

Brittany and Victoria saved themselves winning the first Battle of the Block and de-throning Frankie, winning them back that 10 and restoring their scores to a flat 0.

Bonuses: 

The first controversy bonus of the season goes to Caleb who nets himself a nice +10 simply for expressing his unique and enlightened viewpoints regarding the President of The United States of America being a "Muslim monkey" and something rambling and angry about "fags" and something else about murder and babies or babies who murder, something like that. I had to read it about 4 times before I figured out his argument and that argument is that he does not like how the last American election went, so there.  Whoever is taking care of Caleb's social media attempted to remove the evidence by deleting his Instagram account, but the INTERNET NEVER FORGETS now do we? So congratulations Caleb, 10 hot, flaming points of shame for you! "Your (sic) dismissed..."

This first week saw some impressive contenders for Asshat of the Week:

Paola for being a creepy lecherous pervert and thinking that 4 years difference makes Cody a baby and her some old cougar or something. 

Joey, sweet summer child, for mistaking a Liberal political affiliation for a personality. 

Frankie for reminding us that he's related to Ariana Grande and she's like the most famous person the world right now. Did you know that he's Ariana Grande's brother? Ariana Grande. They're related. Ariana Grande. 

Zach, for having all the charm of a bag of smashed butt holes. Zach is the kind of person that gets punched in the face for telling people exactly what he thinks about them. No really, he has photographic proof. This is a point of pride for him. 

Victoria, the hottest in the house. 

But ultimately, the award goes to Devin. Who in just 3 episodes has done some interesting work with alliances, game strategy and oh, yes, he has a daughter, he's the first father ever, in the whole wide world. In summation, Devin is an idiot. +10 to you Devin. 

Please feel free to comment, or drop me a line at bigbrother@fantasizr.com

See you next Monday! 

Lindsey (scorekeeper)